I’ve kind of been trudging along the last couple years, totally ignoring this and shutting down emotionally. Something/someone happened to me that woke me up from my slumber. I was literally figuratively shocked into waking up, partially because of her and partially because it was just time. I’ve learned quite a few lessons from this episode:

Stop trying to sleep with women on the first date! It really screws everything up one way or the other.

It’s time to stop using the past as an excuse and time to get over and on with it.

Just because you want something doesn’t mean you can have it. You have to let it happen naturally.

Stop and smell the roses: I’m too goal oriented. Once I have a target I put the blinders on and go full steam ahead. I didn’t even check to see if the prize was worth the the price of admission (no offense intended — I just didn’t take the time to get to know her before putting her on the pedestal).

Watch my mouth. Some of the shit that comes out is funny, and some of it is offensive. Most of the time it’s both

I’m still an introvert. Luckily I have great friends that love me despite it. Also, there’s nothing wrong with being one.

Long time no see.

One of the things I’ve been reminded of over the past 6 months is if you don’t put yourself out there, you’ll miss the opportunity of getting anything valuable in return. Sometimes you get something back and sometimes you don’t. It sucks when you don’t, but you just have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and put yourself out there again. It’s better than the alternative of living in your own world forever.